News & Notes Inside the Week in Film

When the One Sheet Hits the Fan

There were two posters created for the movie, Why Stop Now.  A very good one and a very bad one.  Guess which one got used on the Blu-Ray and DVD boxes.

by Chris Neumer

I had not seen nor heard of the film, Why Stop Now, prior to needing to write about it this week for the new releases section.  When I saw the artwork of the film’s box cover (above left), I sighed a long sigh and then began to wonder who co-writers/co-directors Phil Dorling and Ron Nyswaner had angered in the home entertainment marketing department.

Quote

“No, no, it’s great. I’m excited. I’m going to be a pioneer. I’ll be the first black guy to freeze to death. It’s going be cool. I’m pumped up about it… It’s just like that song, you know? I get knocked down, except I get up again in North Dakota, which is the worst place on Earth.”

-Kevin Hart doesn’t like the cold in The Five Year Engagement

I suppose it’s possible that there’s a more boring, more generic poster somewhere—the only way it could get worse was if the Helvetica font was somehow incorporated into the design—but that is a possibility that seems more theoretical than likely.  I mean, this poster features three floating bodies (stars Tracy Morgan, Jesse Eisenberg and Melissa Leo) pulled from other photos in front of a white background.  Leo isn’t even looking at the camera in her photo.  It couldn’t have taken very long to create this poster; Eisenberg isn’t even casting fake shadows.  I’d make a joke about this taking some high school student an hour to do, but in all honesty, I think a high schooler with a modicum of Photoshop acumen could, in fact, have done this in an hour.  And I’m guessing the high schooler would have known not to make the whites of Leo’s eyes so glaringly and freakishly white.  It’s like I’m starring through her head and at the white background behind her.

This is precisely the type of box art that will encourage would-be-viewers to just keep on moving.  It’s the graphic design equivalent of a cop standing in front of an accident saying, “Move along, nothing to see here.  Move along!”  Why would anyone ever want to see a movie with a box cover as boring and generic as this?  I know you’re not supposed to judge a book (or a movie) by its cover, but with a cover like this?  C’mon!

As I was poking around online looking for some more information on the project, a funny thing happened: I found another poster for the film (the poster on the right) that made me honestly and legitimately interested in seeing the movie.  This second poster featured a scene from the movie with Eisenberg and Leo chasing after Morgan; a man in an American uniform from the Revolutionary War stands just behind the three.

The energy in the second Why Stop Now poster was so focused and pronounced, it actually distracted from the incredibly lazy above-the-title cast listings: first name in Arial, last name in Arial Black… just like American Beauty,* Runaway Bride and other movies too numerous to count.

* Technically, American Beauty used the Futura font, but it’s close enough to what I’m describing that I’m not going to split hairs.

I’d never encountered a situation like this before where a movie had a number of posters commissioned for it, one of which drew me in and made me curious about the film and the other of which absolutely repulsed me.  And, naturally, the powers-that-be decided that the historically awful artwork was the correct choice to adorn Why Stop Now’s video boxes.

The funny thing about this situation is that Why Stop Now had the hard part down: it had a stellar image for inclusion on its one-sheet, it just needed a like graphic design savvy and love and it could have been an all time classic.

Enter The Paperboy.

One of the semi-new trends in movie poster creation is a retro, seventies-era look.  There is no better example of this than for the Zac Efron film, The Paperboy.  The poster is a triumph of minimalism that proves, again, that it’s not that hard to make a great poster with great source material.  The only real differences between The Paperboy’s poster and Why Stop Now’s good poster is the choice of fonts—The Paperboy did not go lowest common denominator, Why Stop Now did—and the decision to have the background a non-white color—The Paperboy went light sepia (or what my mother might call peach) and Why Stop Now went with a bright, arctic white.

I’ll never quite understand why so many directors and distribution companies are so ambivalent about the graphic design of their movies’ one-sheets; for about $500-$1,000 you can get a true work of art… Or you can have your girlfriend’s younger brother do it and pocket the difference in cash.  Quite literally, your movie’s poster is the face of the project to the outside world.  Make it good and people are intrigued, make it bad (or worse yet, boring) and people will stay away.   With a box cover as bad as Why Stop Now’s, I won’t be surprised in the least when it fails to attract much of an audience.

 

Step One: Read Step One

There’s a very good reason why men don’t read the instructions.  They’re often quite ridiculous.

by Chris Neumer

There is a common stereotype that men refuse to read the directions before attempting to assemble or install anything they buy.  In the mid-90s, this manifested itself in a lot of jokes on awful sit-coms where the father would attempt to build a propane grill and end up making an F-16 or something that would qualify as abstract art.  Ha ha!  Isn’t it funny?  Because he didn’t read the directions!

Generally speaking, I am one of these men.  When I get computer software, a bookshelf or new camera equipment, I never look at the instructions.  I’m old enough, smart enough and have enough experience with the items in question to not have to look at the instructions to know how to use them.  Strangely, all my programs work and my bookshelves stand upright and don’t collapse at comedically inopportune moments.

I recently bought a new printer and, while removing it from the box, had the directions fall onto the floor.  I picked them up and looked at the page that was facing upward.  On it were the first two steps to installing my printer.  First, I was supposed to unpack the printer, then I was supposed to turn the printer on.  The second step, ‘turn on the printer’, actually had two separate components to it: 1) connect the power cable and 2) press the power button.

Yes, Step One is the most useless step ever—I had to unpack the printer to get the instructions!  By the time I’d read what Step One was, I’d already completed it, “Step One; Unpack”—but Step Two isn’t much better.  Ignore how much paper is being wasted disseminating this information and understand that this is why men don’t read the directions.

 

That About Sums It Up

DVD titles often take some liberties with their edition names.  It’s doubtful that anyone will be able to top Central Film Company’s DVD for Spring Break 2006.

by Chris Neumer

I am fascinated that there are people out there who are paid to come up movie chapter titles and Blu-Ray/DVD edition titles.  Sure, Universal could release the Special Edition of Dazed and Confused, but where’s the fun in that?  So they instead release it as the Flashback Edition.

Home video distribution companies know that releasing Blu-Rays/DVDs with extra footage—often called the director’s cut—is a big marketing hook.  Same with adding some more ribald material that wouldn’t have gotten by the MPAA ratings board.

Sony Pictures previously held the crown in this respect, with the (I thought) unbeatable All New Unrated, Extended Director’s Cut Blu-Ray/DVD of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s The Grudge.  (See side image).

I was wrong though.  Central Film Company decided they were up for the challenge of doing better and took this whole Blu-Ray/DVD concept to the next level.  They released an edition of their film Spring Break 2006 to DVD under the title: The Undressed, Uncut, Uncensored and Unrated Edition.

I don’t know how anyone is ever going to top that one… but I’ve said that before.  We’ll see what happens.

 

The Photo of the Week

Cheryl Wilson in Extreme Movie

 

The 5 Things I Learned This Week

Fascinatingly true things to broaden your mind

 

1) There is an institute of higher learning called Western Oklahoma State College.

2) There is a mother/daughter porn team that performs sex scenes together.  Oh, yes.  Say hello to the Sexxxtons.

3) San Antonio Spurs guard, Manu Ginobli, has started a community outreach program called Manu’s Mathletes.

4) JaVale McGee is originally from Chicago.  He went to Hales Franciscan High School.

5) There is a welding Olympics.  The American Welding Society Skills USA US Invitational Weld Trials take place in Las Vegas, Nevada and the winners go on to represent the United States in the international version of the competition that’s held in Germany.

 

 

This Week’s Stories

New Releases

The Bourne Legacy

THE PLAYERS: Starring Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, and Edward Norton; written by Tony Gilroy and Dan Gilroy; directed by Tony Gilroy;  Released by Universal. Rated PG-13.

THE PLOT: A special ops agent seeks help from a doctor after the government shuts down their program and tries to eliminate him.

THE SKINNY:
– Matt Damon owns the character of Jason Bourne.  His performance as the amnesiac assassin, Bourne, was stellar and brought a lot of well-deserved accolades and fans his way.  The series benefited greatly from it as well.  Unfortunately, Damon isn’t in The Bourne Legacy.
– Paul Greengrass took over the reins of the Bourne series when Doug Liman left after The Bourne Identity.  Greengrass brought a small set esthetic and love of practical, in-camera stunts to the franchise that set the tone for all future based-in-reality action movies.  Greengrass’ control over car gags and fight sequences is near legendary.  Unfortunately, Greengrass isn’t behind the camera for The Bourne Legacy.
+ I have to give Universal some credit here for somehow figuring out a way to keep a series alive after its titular character left.  I mean, this is impressive.  Just imagine a movie called Indiana Jones and the Fountain of Youth that didn’t feature Indiana Jones!  Ridiculous, right?  Only this is what Universal did and got away with here.
– Until I looked at the cast listing, I had no idea that Edward Norton was in this movie (and playing a retired member of the military, no less.  How old am I again?)  How do you have one of the world’s finest actors in a movie like this and manage to keep that information hidden?
+ I love movies that feature top notch research scientists at the top of their games who are played by incredibly hot women.
– Speaking of which, Rachel Weisz is almost unrecognizeable as the aforementioned scientist.  She looks fantastic, but doesn’t really resemble the Rachel Weisz that people know.  With an American accent that kind of sounds like a British person attempting an American accent, Weisz doesn’t sound like herself either.
+ PG-13 doesn’t mean what it used to.  I’m pretty sure if The Bourne Legacy were released in 1985, it would have been given an X rating and the MPAA would have been able to discuss at length the declining moral fiber of the studio action movies.  Since this is 2012, it gets a PG-13.

YES, IT’S TRUE: Besides The Bourne Legacy, Jeremy Renner has appeared in four other $100 million dollar movies (The Town, Thor, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and The Avengers) since 2010.

Mansome

THE PLAYERS: Starring Morgan Spurlock, Judd Apatow, and Will Arnett; directed by Morgan Spurlock. Released by Paladin. Rated PG-13.

THE PLOT: A documentary exploring what it means to be a man in today’s world.

THE SKINNY:
– For some reason (one that definitely involves marketing), Mansome is often said to star Jason Bateman and Will Arnett, both of Arrested Development fame.  However, this is categorically not the case.  Mansome is a documentary that both Bateman and Arnett produced that they are also included in, but are, under no definition of the word, stars of this project.
– One glaring fault of this project about male grooming is how the grand majority of celebrities interviewed are of a piece: forty-ish males who have an affinity for frat boy comedy.  It’s the type of project, if Adam Carolla wasn’t interviewed for it that he would have done himself.  Maybe Clint Eastwood turned down an interview request, I don’t know, but there was no surprise to me that Paul Rudd, Zach Galifianakis, Judd Apatow, Bateman, Arnett and Carolla all agreed to talk about this issue.
+ Morgan Spurlock’s films, good or bad, are always entertaining.  Consider him a documentarian for the new generation.
– The movie ostensibly investigates what it means to be a man.  It’s an interesting question and one, in light of the new wave of metrosexual males out there, one that seems like it might have some interesting answers.  The actual conclusions are not in any way satisfying and the film itself seems merely like an opportunity for comedians to do stupid things and make fun of them, like when Bateman and Arnett go to a spa.

YES, IT’S TRUE: Morgan Spurlock was rejected by USC’s film school five times.

Ted

THE PLAYERS: Starring Mark Walhlberg, Mila Kunis, and Seth MacFarlane; written and directed by Seth Macfarlane. Released by Universal.  Rated R.

THE PLOT: A childish man asks his best friend, a living, speaking teddy bear, to move out so he can take the next step with his girlfriend.

THE SKINNY:
+ A genuinely funny movie from the mind of a genuinely funny man, Seth McFarlane.
+ McFarlane is the genius behind Fox’s Family Guy show.
+ McFarlane is not afraid to take risks with his comedy.  He has a vision and he goes for it, political correctness (and occasionally good taste) be damned.  This gives his projects a flair and a style quite their own.  I’ve always wondered what the point it of having a brilliant comedic mind and then dumbing it down in order to appeal to more people.  The logic behind making a movie or a TV show more like everything else that’s out or on just doesn’t seem like a good strategy to me.  And Ted showed off exactly why.
– McFarlane does a lot of the voices on Family Guy including three of the shows more notable characters, Brian, Stewie and Peter Griffin.  For some reason, McFarlane decided to do the voiceover for Ted himself… and it sounds exactly like Peter Griffin.  If you’ve watched more than two episodes of Family Guy, you will spend an inordinate amount of time wondering A) where Peter Griffin is, or B) how many different copyright laws McFarlane is breaking here.
+ Mark Wahlberg stars in Ted and does an extremely competent job.  It’s funny to think that about ten years ago, Wahlberg’s acting was comparable to an early 90s Keanu Reeves.  How things change.

YES, IT’S TRUE: Both Mark Walhberg and Seth MacFarlane missed American Airlines Flight 11, the plane which struck the North Tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Why Stop Now

THE PLAYERS:  Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Tracy Morgan, and Meilissa Leo; written by Ron Nyswaner; directed by Phil Dorling and Ron Nyswaner.  Released by IFC Films.  Rated R.

THE PLOT: A college student is kidnapped by his mother’s drug dealer when he tries to check her into rehab.

THE SKINNY:
– A lot of people who would have otherwise wanted to see Why Stop Now won’t because of the absolutely horrific box art it has.  The picture of Melissa Leo seems like it could be ten years old and in no way reflects her character in the film itself.  The funny part of this is that there is a poster for this movie that absolutely would make people want to see it… it’s just not used for some reason.
+ The movie’s awful box art will prevent a lot of people from seeing Why Stop Now who would have otherwise wanted to… who would then have been disappointed because they just saw Why Stop Now.
– Released theatrically on August 17th.  Nothing released between August 13th and September 1 should ever be seen.  A handy rule of thumb to keep in mind in the future.
+ Jesse Eisenberg is a charismatic and fascinating lead no matter what the subject matter.  I’m not sure if there’s been another actor quite like him to achieve and maintain the level of fame and success that Eisenberg has had.
– I felt like a lot of this movie was inspired by Little Miss Sunshine.  Yes, this is the film world’s equivalent of a knock-off… and not a good one.
+ Tina Fey is an absolute genius.  For some reason, Morgan is only a legitimate comedy force on 30Rock.  As soon as he is removed from Fey’s umbrella, he becomes a guy who seems like he should be funnier, but isn’t.

YES, IT’S TRUE: Four out of five high school seniors admit to having tried illegal drugs.

The New Releases were written by Chris Neumer and Kevin Withers