The News & Notes of the Week in Film

‘And’ then?

If you’re wondering why The Expendables 2’s script seemed a tad disjointed, look no further than the six different writing credits that were doled out.  One to a man who didn’t work on the project.

by Chris Neumer

In the English language, an ampersand (&) is merely a sign representing the word ‘and’.  The two are synonymous and interchangeable with one another.  This is true everywhere with the notable exception of the Writer’s Guild of America (WGA).  There, an ampersand and the word ‘and’ have two completely different definitions.

In the opening credits of a film, if you see that the screenplay was written by “John Smith & Fred Jones”, it means that the two men wrote the script together.  Just imagine the two of them in the same room, one of them sitting at an old school typewriter while the other man is lying down on a couch going over dialogue.

If you see that the screenplay was written by “John Smith and Fred Jones”, it means that Smith turned in a draft and it was then handed over to Jones for rewrites.

This occasionally leads to situations where two teams of two people worked on a script and you’ll see a credit like this: Screenplay by John Smith & Fred Jones and Adam Johnson & Steve Franklin.

I mention this here because The Expendables 2’s writing credits are a thing of both mystery and beauty.

QUOTE:

“She’s a great human being and a whore. She’s got a wonderful, great, big heart and a little bit of a crack problem. God vomited and there was Jackie.”

-Carlos Alazraqui has a unique way of talking people up in Reno 911

When the original Expendables came out, the writing credits were extremely simple and logical.  The ‘story by’ credit was given to David Callaham and the screenplay credit was given to Callaham and Sylvester Stallone.  This means that Callaham concocted the story of The Expendables, wrote a script for it and Stallone then came in and turned the script into something more closely resembling the version of the movie that hit theaters.  My guess is, though I have no confirmation or proof, Stallone saw Callaham’s script, liked several elements of it, kept those and changed everything else.  That’s why the ‘story by’ credit was thrown into the mix.

Well, with The Expendables 2, shit got crazy.  The most impressive part of this is that two different groups of screenwriters got credit for working on the story!  I can not remember another instance where the ‘story by’ credit was divided between two different groups.  In this case, Ken Kaufman and his writing partner, David Agosto, nabbed one ‘story by’ credit and Richard Wenk got another ‘story by’ credit.  Since there’s only one story, it seems fascinating to suggest that you can somehow give two groups of people working independently with the same ‘story by’ credit, even considering the WGA’s unusual crediting laws.  Callaham is back again and credited with creating the characters.  All this and we haven’t even gotten to the film’s actual screenwriters, Wenk and Stallone.

So, Stallone did the final polish on Wenk’s script that was based on a story that Wenk came up with that was influenced by a story that Kaufman and Agosto thought of that involved characters that originated from Callaham’s work on a previous film that was, again, polished up by Stallone.  Thank god this wasn’t inspired by real events.

 

Quantifying Awesomeness

The Expendables 2’s poster is so many different types of fantastic, it’s hard to know where to start praising it.

by Chris Neumer

One other element of The Expendables 2’s production that needs some further examination is its one-sheet poster/DVD cover.  There are two posters in wide circulation that are both worth discussing; one, because it is a true abomination of generic poster making, the other because of the sheer volume of awesomeness it contains.  My focus is going to be on the latter.  The one I’m not going to write about is the one of the cast standing in front of a fire, behind a fire and, it appears, on top of fire.  This poster can be viewed here.  The poster I do want to talk about is pictured to the right.  And it is fabulous.

At first, I was taken aback by this poster. My initial impression was that there was way too much going on in it.  I mean, even that statement is woefully inadequate.  Everything is going on in it.  There are 15 guns shown, four of which are being fired, there’s an exploding tank, four burned out cars (and an additional one that’s still on fire), three helicopters, a crashing plane, the moon, fire (dear God is there fire), faux fold lines and more badassery than it is possible to quantify.  Sylvester Stallone is pictured twice on the poster holding a total of four different weapons.

After a few days to stare at The Expendables 2 one sheet though, I began to realize that there was some insane genius behind its creation.  It was almost as if the producers went to Ignition Print (the company that designed the poster) and asked for the over-the-top special… and Ignition Print then went over-the-top delivering that.

What first clued me in that there was something special about The Expendables 2 poster came with the realization that there isn’t a square inch of it that didn’t have something going on in it.  Just under Arnold Schwarzenegger is an image of what appears to be black clad mercenaries zip-lining down a hillside.  There is no reason for the image to be there, a statement that is also true for the building to the left of Chuck Norris or the moon or pieces of exploding building that are behind Stallone.  Simply put, the goal of this poster was to go over-the-top, to leave no space blank or clean… and, holy God, did they nail this.

If there can be a better one sheet for The Expendables 2, I’m not sure what it would be; Ignition Print hit this one out of the park.

Killing Air Bud

Sometimes graphic design can have a most unwanted impact on a film’s target demographic.  Such was the case with the first attempt at an Air Buddies logo.

by Chris Neumer

This is one of the funniest stories I’ve heard in sometime. While in LA recently, I had lunch with a friend who works at a studio. He shared this nugget with me.

While working on the latest incarnation of the Air Bud series (about the amazing golden retriever that can play soccer, basketball, baseball, volleyball and Texas hold ‘em tournaments), Disney decided that “Bud,” should become a dad. As a play on words, they then decided to title the film Air Buddies. Wanting to capitalize on the branding of the Air Bud name, Disney kept the Air Bud logo in all caps, as they’ve done on all the previous installments of the series, and added the last four letters in lower case.

Excited about the possibilities of the fifth installment of Air Bud, one of the marketing executives working on the project took the new Air Buddies poster home to show his young son. Instantly upon seeing the poster, the boy started crying. The marketing exec was stumped. The poster featured Air Bud and several adorable little puppies, what was there not to like? So he asked his son what the problem was. In between fits of tears, the boy jutted a finger at the poster and said, “Air Bud dies?”

The exec looked at the poster and saw that, as it was printed—AIR BUD dies—no kids were going to want to see the movie. And, like that, the last word of the titles moved into all lower case letters.

 

You Just Can’t See These Things Coming: The Bestiality Edition

A Canadian film festival ran into some *slight* problems recently when word got out that one of its entries was a documentary about the respect, love and admiration that Colombian men have for their donkeys.  And the men’s consummation of said love.

by Chris Neumer

The ideal topic of a documentary film is one that is salacious enough to draws people’s curiosity, but not over-the-top to the degree that the topic has the potential to push perspective audience members away.  Director Daryl Stoneage got the first part of this down with no problems at all—his debut documentary, Donkey Love, was about men having sex with donkeys—but had a few issues with the second part; I believe I mentioned that his debut documentary was about men having sex with donkeys!

Stoneage’s film took home honors at the Melbourne (Australia) Underground Film Festival and was primed to play at the Okanagan Film Festival in Kelowna, British Columbia until the townsfolk there found out about the subject matter of the film.

The festival had been scheduled to take place at the Landmark Paramount Theatre.  When the theater patrons learned that Donkey Love was to be shown there, they began loudly registering their disgust at Donkey Love’s subject matter.  And so, the theatre told the film festival that they were no longer welcome to screen their movies there, effectively putting the kibosh on the festival altogether.

Who would ever have expected people to have such a negative reaction to a film about men having sex with donkeys?

The Photo of the Week

Safety Last

 

The 5 Things I Learned This Week

Fascinatingly true things to broaden your mind

 

1) Paris’ famed museum, The Louvre, releases its own DVDs.

2) Botanists consider anything with seeds that grows on a plant or a tree a fruit… including cucumbers, squash, eggplants and tomatoes.

3) When oil was first discovered in the United States in the early 1860’s, the part of the country known as the “Oil Region” was northwestern Pennsylvania.

4) While a teenager, actor Wesley Snipes and his friends formed a traveling puppet troupe called Struttin’ Street Stuff and actually performed at schools.

5) There is a certain type of rock that can absorb a sizeable chunk of the greenhouse gases that have sped up global warming on earth.  The rock is called Peridotite and it is found on the planet’s surface in sizeable numbers in one place: the Middle East.

 

 

This Week’s Stories

New Releases

Alter Egos

THE PLAYERS: Starring Kris Lemche, Brooke Nevin, and Joey Kern; written and directed by Jordan Galland;  Released by Phase 4 Films. Rated R.

THE PLOT: A superhero and his friends face real world problems when the government cuts their funding.

THE SKINNY:
– A minor point: the plot of this movie is about the US government voting to stop funding superheroes and how this negatively impacts the personal lives of said superheroes.  Are you fucking kidding me?  The government has kept the temporary Bush tax cuts in place for more than a decade, costing the country trillions of dollars… but they’re going to cut funding for a group of superhuman do-gooders who have special powers up to and including invisibility?  This decision is so bad it makes funding the Taliban in the eighties appear well thought out and spot on.
– This film was financed independently and its budget was extremely limited.  This is somewhat problematic because superhero films—even when they’re about depressed, alcoholic superheroes (read: The Watchmen or Hancock)—are still really glossy.  Say what you will about Alter Egos, but it is not glossy.  At all.  The costumes of the lead superheroes look like something that the neighborhood high schoolers might wear out for Halloween.  In short, this film really looks like it has a limited budget.
– I’m not sure I’m ready to feel sorry for a guy who has special powers because his incredibly hot girlfriend is more sexually attracted to him in his superhero costume.  Cry me a river.  Then freeze it with your super powers.
+/- Distributed by writer/director Kevin Smith’s latest distribution company, Smodcast Pictures.

YES, IT’S TRUE: There is a documentary titled Superheroes, which follow real people who dress up to fight crime.

Bringing Up Bobby

THE PLAYERS: Starring Milla Jovovich, Bill Pullman, and Marcia Cross; written and directed by Famke Janssen. Released by Monterey Media. Rated PG-13.

THE PLOT: A former con artist moves with her son to Oklahoma to try and change their lives.

THE SKINNY:
+ I am an unabashed fan of Bill Pullman’s.  The man does sweet and nice without being overbearing better than anyone.  And *this* is our Independence Day!
– Bringing Up Bobby stars Milla Jovovich.  My feelings toward Jovovich are the polar opposite of my feelings towards Pullman.  It’s an interesting situation here: my juggernaut of love for Pullman meets my unmovable object of dislike for Jovovich.
+ Written and directed by Famke Janssen.  Normally, having a first time director helming a project isn’t a positive (or necessarily a negative).  In this case though, Janssen is a well known acting commodity (X-Men, Rounders, Taken) who is making her writing and directing debut.  It’s always interesting to watch the passion projects of actors and see what they brought with them from their previous experiences on set.
– The accents in this film are fall somewhere between Kevin Costner in Robin Hood and Sylvester Stallone attempting a Scottish brogue. Listening to Pullman talk with a southern accent is really an interesting experience (and not in a good way).  When you first hear his voice, it sounds normal; it sounds like Bill Pullman.  Only at the end of his sentences do you hear his accent and it’s hard not to stop for a minute and think, “Wait, what?”  Jovovich’s imitation of Natasha from the Rocky & Bullwinkle series is equally unusual.

YES, IT’S TRUE: Milla Jovovich has been on the cover of more than 100 magazines.

The Expendables 2

THE PLAYERS: Starring Sylvester Stallone, Liam Hemsworth, and Randy Couture; written by Richard Wenk and Sylvester Stallone; directed by Simon West. Released by Lionsgate.  Rated R.

THE PLOT: A group of mercenaries exacts revenge on the men who killed one of their own.

THE SKINNY:
– I think we’re about three years removed from The Expendables 4: Not So Expendable.
– I touched on it over there in the News & Notes section, but The Expendables 2’s box art is absolutely horrid.  It is an abomination.  A messy abomination.
+ This movie can serve as an important lesson for American film goers: The Expendables 2 has a nearly $100 million budget.  It grossed just under $30 million domestically.  And Lionsgate couldn’t be happier.  Why?  Because The Expendables 2 did $240 million outside of the United States.  Yes.  $240 million.  The Hangover?  That huge hit that made Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifianakis stars?  It did $190 million in foreign box office.  So there are three things to be learned from this: 1) action sells overseas, 2) comedy does not, and 3) There will be an Expendables 3, like it or not.
+ To assuage the egos of all the (former) above-the-line stars in The Expendables 2, the producers are pulling out every trick in the book to make people happy.  Normally, if a big star has a small role, he’s given the ‘and’ or the ‘with’ designation.  As the opening title cards play, you’ll see the listing of ‘with Tom Cruise’ or ‘and Liam Neeson’.  The Expendables 2 has a ‘with’, an ‘and’, as well as an ‘also’, which I’ve never seen before.  I’m more excited to see what other title listings they can create for the third installment than anything else.
– I was around and watching action movies in the late 80s and early 90s and it’s still kind of depressing to see the stars of that era here as much, much older men.

YES, IT’S TRUE: Out of all the stars Chuck Norris racks up the largest body count in the film.

The Obama Effect

THE PLAYERS:  Starring Charles S. Dutton, Katt Williams, and Vanessa Bell Callloway; written and directed by Charles S Dutton.  Released by Arc Entertainment.  Rated PG-13.

THE PLOT: A man reevaluates the life and relationships he has neglected due to his obsession over getting President Obama re-elected.

THE SKINNY:
– Not to be confused with 2016: Obama’s America… which also sucked.
– This is one of those types of movies that I absolutely hate: it focuses on a lead character who is doing something/enthralled with the concept of something that he never applies to his own life.  These movies often feature self-help gurus whose own lives are falling apart or devoutly religious people who don’t practice what they preach (literally).  In The Obama Effect, the lead character (Dutton) has a heart attack and, after recovering, decides his life has been on the wrong path; he is going to become a better person and work for better things… at which point in time he promptly abandons his family and community to try to get Obama elected because he likes the positive messages of family and community that Obama is sending.  I just hurt my eyes rolling them at this description.
– It’s almost like the word ‘Obama’ was put into this title to attract viewers it wouldn’t have otherwise have had.  Almost.
– The fact that Celo Green did the music for the film is a marketing point.

YES, IT’S TRUE: It is estimated that $6 billion was spent on the 2012 election.

The New Releases were written by Chris Neumer and Kevin Withers