| The Week of November 4, 2008 |
The Incredible... Failure?
Marvel learned from the mistakes of director Ang Lee's 2003 film, Hulk and created... an even bigger disappointment.
by Chris Neumer
THE QUESTION: I saw Hollywoodland recently and realized that the title of the movie was a reference to the original Hollywood sign. What happened to the last four letters of that famous sign? - Justin H. via e-mail
THE ANSWER: The Hollywood sign is the most famous landmark in Los Angeles. It’s one of the few groupings of letters anywhere in the world that actually has its own web-site, www.hollywoodsign.org… not that you can find any noteworthy information on said site, but I digress. The Hollywoodland sign was originally constructed in 1923 as an advertisement for the Hollywoodland housing development. No one really figured that the sign would be around for that long and it was not built to last.  The initial sign had thousands of light bulbs on it so that it could be seen at night. In 1939, the real estate developers who had erected the sign sixteen years earlier decided to stop maintenance on it. Roughly two years later, a drunk driver ran into the ‘H’ and it came crashing down. By 1949, the once glamorous sign was run down and ready to be sold as scrap. This was when the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce (HCC) decided to step up to the plate and take control of the sign. The HCC agreed to take financial responsibility of the sign and repair it, but under one condition. In order to keep their costs more manageable, the Chamber wanted to remove the last four letters of the sign. And like that, the L-A-N-D of the Hollywoodland was gone.
Since very few people are aware of this bit of Hollywood trivia, filmmakers have occasionally offered their own interpretation of the removal of the L-A-N-D. Steven Spielberg had John Belushi’s Wild Bill Kelso crash into the last four letters in 1941 and Joe Johnston had flaming debris from a blimp explosion knock them down in his movie, The Rocketeer. Given the timeline of the Hollywoodland sign—namely that it no longer existed in 1949—it’s strange to consider that Universal titled their film about events taking place in 1959, Hollywoodland. |
"You want me to release a murderer so that his mob boss can kill him? It sounded a lot better when Vic explained it to me."- Shane and Acevedga in The Shield Season Two.
4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days
THE PLOT: The story of a pregnant young women’s pursuit of an illegal abortion during the fall of Communist Romania. THE SKINNY:
+ Foreign films that tackle heavy issues usually score with critics.
- The story of a pregnant young women’s pursuit of an illegal abortion during the fall of Communist Romania.
- It will take a lot more energy watching this than watching Fool’s Gold.
+ 8 people saw the movie, 7 were critics, and 6 of them gave it five stars.
+ It will also be a lot better a cinematic experience than having to sit through Fool’s Gold
YES, IT'S TRUE: In 1985, the use of gasoline was stricly rationed in Romania, forcing Taxis and Buses to use Methane propulsion for energy. These vehicles were sarcastically called "bombs."
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
THE PLOT: Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones is once again chosen to save the day when the Soviets attempt to attain the power found in the fabled crystal skulls. THE SKINNY:
+ One of the best characters in cinematic history…
+ After a nineteen-year layoff, he returns. (insert Viagra one-liner here).
- He got real old in his absence.
+ Is nostalgic, and fun.
- George Lucas proved the plot material for the prequel to the Star Wars trilogy wasn’t a mistake. He can come up with bad story ideas for many great characters.
- … It’s about aliens.
YES, IT'S TRUE: This is the first Indiana Jones film shot entirely in the United States.
Mongol
THE PLOT: The biopic of a young Genghis Khan. He overcomes the life as a slave to eventually rule half the known world in the early eleventh century.
THE SKINNY:
+ Allows for many Wrath of Khan jokes.
- Khan was far more sympathetic in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
+ Finally, a film that gives Mr. Khan the attention any ruthless mongor deserves.
+ Finally audiences can see what a ruthless world leader was like before he lost his virginity.
+ Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 88% approval rating, and they hate everything. YES, IT'S TRUE: Despite ruling in the early thirteenth century, Khan encourgaed the formulation of a civil state with legal equality for all citizens, women included. Yeah, he was slightly ahead of his time. 
Stuck
THE PLOT: When a drunk young women (Mena Suvari) hits a down-on-his luck business man after a night of heavy drinking, she does the only thing she can think of: She brings the victim to her house, and hopes that he will die shortly, and not press charges against her.
THE SKINNY:
+ A great idea for a pathological thriller. Too bad Stephen King didn’t come up with something like this twenty-five years ago.
- Could “steer” conscious-laden viewers away.
+ The victim has also recently lost his job because of a downsizing economy. How timely.
+ Pretty, young girls get away with everything.
-: It’s been eighteen years since Kathy Bates did this the right way.
- Stars Mena Suvari rarely stars in memorable films. This means that Alyssa Milano, Shannon Tweed, Tara Reid passed on it. YES, IT'S TRUE: Director Stuart Gordon brought us the classic film, Re-Animator in 1985.
War, Inc
THE PLOT: A satirical look at one hit man’s (John Cusack) attempts to assassinate a Middle Eastern Oil Tycoon.
THE SKINNY:
+ Cusack is on a roll lately, starring in very relevant pictures.
+ Outside of cell-phone commercials, Cusack’s sister Joan only seems to get work in films starting her brother (or once, with Jack Black).
+ Makes fun of the U.S. government’s ineptitude in figuring out how to deal with anything involving oil.
- Hillary Duff’s acting chops aren’t necessarily worth their weight in "black gold."
+Ben Kingsley is known cleverly nuanced performances, and does not disappoint as the corruption-obsessed former U.S. Vice President, hell bent on owning anything and everything that could keep the benjamins rolling on. YES, IT'S TRUE: Cusack has jokingly reference the movie as Gross Pointe Blank 2, another film in which he portrays an emotionless assassin... with his big sister as his assistant (that is, until he re-meets Minnie Driver). |
