Plans for a cinematic version of Fox’s long-standing TV show, The Simpsons, had been rumored and spoken of for more than fifteen years prior to the movie's 2007 release.
The first time thought of giving the Simpsons a movie came in late 1991 or early 1992. It was then that The Simpsons’ creator Matt Groening and producer James L. Brooks conceived of an idea that they thought had feature film potential. Together the two began feeling out the possibility of making a movie involving the Simpsons. However, given the surprisingly generic nature of this idea and their (and The Simpsons’ writers) inability to flesh out the script into something that would have offered audiences at least 80 minutes of quality entertainment, Groening and Brooks soon gave up on the idea and turned their silver-screen premise into the fourth season’s premiere episode, "Kamp Krusty".
In "Kamp Krusty", Bart and Lisa scheme to go to Springfield’s summer camp du jour, Kamp Krusty. Once there, Bart and Lisa are shocked and chagrined to learn that the camp’s namesake, Krusty the Klown, has almost nothing to do with the camp and that the children themselves are treated like sweatshop workers. Bart then organizes a revolt against the leaders of the camp.
In the mid-nineties, Groening tinkered with the idea of making a live-action version of The Simpsons. This idea was wisely scrapped soon afterwards… though I’ve always found it interesting to consider who would have been cast in the major roles. More on this in a minute.
Even though Groening rightfully tabled a live-action Simpsons movie, one actor still had hopes that it would come true: Phil Hartman. Hartman reportedly wanted to have a Troy McClure spin-off movie in which he played the titular character. This too was scrapped.
The first real sign that a Simpsons Movie was going to be happen came in 1998, when Fox purchased the web domain: www.simpsonsmovie.com. A mere 460 weeks later, the movie was finally be released.
Casting The Live-Action Simpsons Movie
Before the actual Simpsons Movie was greenlit, the producers considered making a version with real actors in the late '90s. Is there any way Jim Belushi wouldn't have been involved somehow?
In the pantheon of bad ideas, putting real live (and familiar) actors into a live-action Simpsons Movie is up near the top with Hudson Hawk and Nicolas Cage's hair in Bangkok Dangerous. Nonetheless, it is interesting to consider how the producers might have gone putting real people into the big, floppy, clown shoes of The Simpsons' characters. Here are my thoughts, keeping in mind that this would have been cast in 1997: Homer Simpson would be played by Dan Castelleneta in a fat suit. You need Castelleneta's voice for this. No one else would work. Darkhorse: Chris Farley… on the condition that David Spade have nothing to do with the project.
Marge Simpson would be played by Joan Allen. Darkhorse: Cameron Diaz. Diaz would actually be my first choice but, after There’s Something About Mary, I’d be hesitant to cast an actress who had already received an inordinent amount of press for having hair that stood straight up.
Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson would all be played by unknown child actors. If there were any darkhorses, it’d be Mason Gamble as Bart, although after appearing as Dennis the Menace in John Hughes' film of the same name, it's kind of doubtful as to whether Gamble could be sold to audiences as another classic animated character.
The role of Mr. Burns would have first been offered to Barry Diller (upon whom the role is based). As soon as Diller turned it down, I’d recommend that Fox exhume the corpse of William Hickey and turn his body into a sort of marionette to be operated by the team who would go on to work on Being John Malkovich.
Dr. Hibbert would go to Bryant Gumbel. Gumbel could probably provide the character's wardrobe as well.
Moe Syslak would be Ron Perlman. There would be no darkhorse candidate. If Perlman turned the role down, Moe would be written out of the movie. If Syslak had a father or a brother though, I’d cast ACDC frontman Angus Young along side Perlman.
Barney Gumble would fall to Brian Cox. A strange choice, I know, but Cox would do something with the role and make it work. Darkhorse: Jim Belushi. I wouldn’t tell Belushi what role he was playing, I’d just have him sit at the bar, not tell him we were filming and let him respond as he normally would. We’d just have to edit out the parts where he’d turn to the director and ask, "Why do they keep calling me Barney?"
Krusty the Clown would be played by Kevin Spacey. For The Simpsons' comically bipolar Krusty, I had trouble figuring out whether it was more important for the actor to be able to go high or low. Spacey could do dejected with no problem and might be able to put an interesting spin on the "Hey! Hey!" peaks. Darkhorse: Carrot Top. Am I the only one who'd like to see Carrot Top play a character with blue hair?
Much like Moe Syslak, there is only one choice for Groundskeeper Willie: Robin Williams. If he turned out to be busy making some crappy movie about dreams coming, the character wouldn't make it to the screen.
ENTERTAINMENT JOURNALISM HITS A NEW LOW
Compared to financial, political or even sports journalists, entertainment journalists as seen as something of a, ahem, lighter, Nerfier field. Who went out to Hyde last night and what were they wearing? Ooooohhhh!!!
Columbia University j-school graduates may well use pseudonyms if they get into this line of reporting for fear that 1) their classmates will consistently mock them or 2) if they get a byline for writing a story about yellow being the new black, their former professors may see it and have a heart attack.
Making headlines in the entertainment press this week was the following bit of cotton-candy. Check that, non-fat, lite cotton-candy.
Suri Cruise… likes chocolate ice cream.
But it’s not like the entirety of the US banking industry is in need of a government bailout or anything.
Wow.
