October 30
My family left this morning. We spent yesterday at Disneyland, riding rides, eating giant turkey legs. Then we stayed over in the park hotel. They left early this morning to put my brother Nate on a plane before beginning the long drive back to Michigan. I stayed at the hotel to wait out the morning traffic. It was positively surreal to feel so sad at Disneyland. It was a very hard goodbye, but my last one of this journey and therefore accompanied by a great sense of relief. Being sad is exhausting. I’m thankful that I don’t have to say goodbye to anyone again for a while.
October 31
Halloween. My first night out on the town in LA. I went with my friend Kat and a couple of people she knows to the LA County Museum of Art’s Halloween party. As promised by every cliche, the traffic was awful and it took us forever to get down there. We parked and walked around to the entrance. I couldn’t believe how cold I was! What the hell, LA? I thought this town was always t-shirts and sun dresses! The party itself was bizarre. There was an eclectic mix of “thrown together at the last minute” costumes (mine) and elaborate costumes that had to have cost upwards of a thousand dollars. The party basically consisted of everyone standing in line for the bars (there were far too few for the number of people in attendance) and people standing around looking at each other. The advertised music was nowhere to be found, so the only noise was the rumble of conversation and the occasional outburst from a group of people in wood-fairy attire screaming with laughter, tumbling to the floor, or occasionally even better, into a large metal trash can. Come on LA. Is this all you got?
November 3
I registered with a company that provides audiences for TV shows this afternoon. It doesn’t pay very well but at least it’s something. The job hunt continues!
November 4
I taught my first acting class today. It was a painfully small class but it still felt amazing to be doing something familiar.
November 6
Today was my first day of audience work. It involved lots of standing in line. Standing in line to sign in, standing in line to use the bathroom, standing in line to be seated, standing in line for bathroom breaks, standing in line to be reseated, standing in line to be paid... I see how this could be tedious if I did it too long.
I’m trying to use the down time to talk to people, to learn how they’re making a living while also pursuing an acting career. The general consensus seems to be that most people do extra work on TV, film, commercials, etc. They register with Central Casting and then pay a monthly fee of $60+ to a call-in service to find them jobs. I can’t do that. I don’t have $60 a month to hand over to someone else when there’s no guarantee of work. I’m also concerned about the stigma surrounding being an extra. I’m not sure how much damage it can really do if it’s short term; I also don’t have the financial wherewithal to be that concerned about it right now either.
For now, I’m open to commercial extra work because I know that pays more. Also, I feel like it’s less dangerous to be an extra in commercials because they’re usually one day shoots. On a series or film, extras often work multiple days and are more likely to be remembered by AD’s etc. This is may be faulty logic, but it’s money for now. My goal is to keep my head down while I’m doing these side jobs.
November 8
I registered with a commercial extra agency today. No call-in service required. I went in on a recommendation from a friend. I’m going to a friend’s birthday party this evening. Another opportunity to see and meet people without having to shell out money I don’t have. Hooray!
November 9
Today is the first rehearsal for the showcases I’m doing at the end of the month for some casting directors and agencies. For some reason, I’m the oldest one in the group. Blech! What a lousy feeling!
November 10
I went to see Where the Wild Things Are with a new director friend of mine, Billy. It was great to talk to someone in the business. I was fascinated to learn that when the film was over, nobody got out of their seats until the final credit had rolled by. I guess this is professional courtesy. I love it.
November 11
I had my first agent interview today. They found me on Actors Access. This seemed a little strange so I went in wary. Rightly so, it turned out.
When I got out there, instead of an interview, I was handed a contract and told that on my second interview, I needed to bring in the contract signed as well as some different headshots. Uh huh. Sure.
Later, after researching even more, it seems this agency is not all they claim to be. Thank goodness I’m a cautious person.
November 12
Today was my first day working as an extra. It was long and tedious but not more so I’d expected and I came prepared with magazines galore.
What I was not prepared for was that one of the other extras I ended up befriending was a woman about my age. When we got to talking, she was telling me all about how she used to live here alone and then she moved home, but is now back with her boyfriend. “It’s sooo much better to be out here with your support system,” she tells me. “I don’t know how I’d do this without him.”
I’m trying not to beg her to please stop talking about it! And I did mention that “Yes, my boyfriend is still back in Chicago, and yes, it’s very hard” but I couldn’t go into much detail because then I felt myself tearing up. Geez, I am ridiculously emotionally available these days. Somebody give me a screen test!
November 13
I had my first LA audition today for an independent film. Man, I felt rusty! I had stopped auditioning for a month or so before I left Chicago because I wasn’t going to be around for the productions. It’s okay. I know I’ll get my chops back fast. I just need to get out there again.
November 14
David Arquette held the door for me at a coffee shop today. I looked up and smiled at him and he smiled back and I thought, “Man, that guy looks a lot like David Arquette!” And then I realized, “Wait. I live in LA now. That could be David Arquette!” Weird. But does David Arquette get his own coffee?
November 15
Today, I met with a wonderful group of artists. It’s a bunch of people I know through my friend Kat. We’re going to begin an artists’ creative collective where we’ll get together monthly to present projects we’d like to work on and help each other stay focused on creating. It was a wonderful group of people with lots of different artistic backgrounds and there were already so many ideas floating around. I’m very excited. I was involved with a couple groups like this back in Chicago and found them to be invaluable in terms of keeping me on track in my personal projects as well as providing support and resources in order to get them done. I’m looking forward to writing my own work again.
November 21
After a long tedious week of constant job hunting, calling, emailing, sending resumes, I finally had something fun to do this evening: my friend Jamie’s birthday “pie party.” I met up with Jamie, his wife Kelley, Kat, and a number of their friends at a restaurant that specializes in pie.
I am so glad I went (and not just because of the pie!) Once again, I saw people whom I knew, people I hadn’t remembered/realized lived here. And I met some new folks too. It was all very lovely. When money is this tight, it’s really hard to grow new friendships. I can’t really go out to eat or for drinks much so what am I going to do, ask someone I’ve met once to come over to my apartment, watch my non existent TV? Every social gathering that doesn’t involve much money is a blessing.
November 24
I got a job! A nanny job, 5 days a week in the mornings. It’s not exactly the perfect job (I’d prefer evenings so I have my whole day available for auditions) but for now, I am so thrilled! Money! I start tomorrow.
November 26
Today is Thanksgiving and it’s the first Thanksgiving where I haven’t been with my family. However, with a brand new job and a bunch of friendly people who are in the same situation I am, I manage to keep a cheery attitude.
I work this morning. The family is from England and they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. I was more than happy to get out of my apartment. After work, I head over to the Gaviote Compound where Kat lives for an “Orphan’s Thanksgiving”. The Gaviote Compound has a big back yard with a grapefruit tree and its atmosphere reminds me of a college house in the way that themed parties are always taking place and people are constantly dropping in to hang out.
“Orphans Thanksgiving” was for all the LA transplants who couldn’t get home to their families. It was an amazing dinner, 20-25 strangers sitting down at a long table out in their backyard, surrounded by a shocking amount of delicious food. Lovely.
November 27
I went to see my friend Rendel perform at Upright Citizens Brigade this evening. Following her show, I stayed for “Not Too Shabby”, a workshop where people can come and try out their material in front of an audience. I’m planning to bring this to the Sunday Artist’s Group.
November 30
Tonight I went to an agent showcase. I was very nervous about this one. I feel like the stakes are higher, I care more. I taught class right before the showcase and felt flustered in trying to transition from teacher into performer, trying to organize my costume changes for the 4 scenes I performed, trying to warm up my voice for my song. In the end though, I felt good about most of it. My song was first and it was a blur. By the time I performed my first scene I was grounded and focused. Now, I wait to see if anyone calls.
Month 1 has been fairly challenging. I’ve had some good days but also some really down days. I’m just getting my bearings (thank goodness for GPS) and until I am working for a bit, money will continue to be tight. That makes it really challenging to go out to meet new people and explore the city. I spent most of this month thinking about finding a job, calling, emailing, interviewing for them. I’m so glad it fell into place! I’ve also been missing Joe a lot. I was incredibly spoiled this summer because we both knew I was leaving so we spent lots of time together and even went on a trip for two weeks. It’s been a hard change. Everyone I’ve talked to about doing the long-distance things, lauds Skype as the thing that’s saved the day. We tried it once. I gave him a Skype tour of my new apartment. But for some reason, seeing him was the extra nudge I needed to break into tears. That doesn’t happen when we just talk. I think we’ll stick to basics for now. He’s coming to visit in a couple weeks and I can’t wait!
For all the rough worrying days I’ve had though, I’ve also had some “falling in love with LA” moments. I love that I can take an outdoor yoga class in the park, go hiking up mountains. I’ve started running in the park near my house! I love that the ocean is right there and the mountains are everywhere, such a huge change from the Midwest. I can’t wait to explore more but I feel like I have to get the basics covered before I can feel settled in any way. For now, I’m just putting one foot in front of the other, taking one day at a time.
